Milling about and weighed down by the disappointments…

Don't let my glad expression, give you the wrong impression

So my horoscope today (Apr.29/08) reads: Cancer: The reason someone’s been acting so cold is because they’re jealous, plain and simple. Rise above it.

What’s a girl to do?
I CAN’T RISE, I only sink!!
No one taught me how to float.
I know they’re jealous, they just don’t realize I know, BUT I DO!!
I wanna run up and scream FUCK YOU then!!
Why are you friends with me?
Why do you bother to talk to me?
Why can’t you understand that I’m lonely, but I really don’t need friends?
I only need me to survive… put that in your pipe and smoke it!!
I only want to be dancing with myself… sadly society frowns upon such behaviours; so I let FUCKERS get into my life.
And once they’re in they seem to ENJOY telling me what I should do.
Fix your own fucking self.
When I talk to you, I just want you to listen. Yes listen!!!
I don’t want to change your life and please believe it when I say I won’t let you change mine.
God only gives a few crumbs to his people and I ain’t letting them go for anyone – yes anyone, I’m beginning to realize that when I prayed, I prayed for the wrong things.
Sure my prayers were answered, but the ‘REWARDS’ were sadly lacking.
Great and overwhelming sorrows came and went, the hero was allowed to resuce the innocent.
But the innocent have forgotten the hero’s sacrifice and now; they’re all grown up with their own shit to do.
They won’t listen to the hero’s advice – even though it’s only in the name of conversation.
The hero tried to solve this by always saying yes to their every whim and desire.
Sadly, this yes thing has backfired because now the hero has become like a thief in the night, running around for a few crumbs, only to disappear, because now the hero is never around after saying yes.
It’s yes and then its time to leave.
It’s yes so that you get me to leave you alone.
It’s yes so that I can run away from you so that you’ll leave me alone.
Now, more often than not, I’m glad when you gone and so sad when you come back…
Once again, you only expect me to give and give and give (and when I want you to listen, because that’s why I give to you – guess what??? YOU AREN’T FUCKING LISTENING!!!)

*MUMBLES where’s the fucking bridge?? where’s the fucking bridge? I’m ready to jump!! My dreams are rotting and I’ve sacrificed everything and for what? Oh yes, to be ignored by those who can barely say that they care. Thanks a fucking lot!! Really you should be proud*

*sighs – God so often moves in these mysterious ways, I only follow along, only follow along….  “Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” Psalm 82:3-4*


~ by tashpoeme on September 21, 2008.

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