So I screwed up…

And you’re mad, I get it.

What I don’t get is this problem that we have, I want you and I can’t find you… Why hast thou forsaken me?

I can now honestly say that I am nothing without you, my dreams are kinda fading and again I am sinking into bad habits. The despair, the using, the flamboyancy; it’s all coming back…

I wanted to be bigger, I could’ve made something of myself – I could have been the girl who sinned a little less and cared a little more…. I guess it’s over.

 (What the hell??!! I can never be good it seems, I’m only doomed to be evil – to keep on sinning to the same song, to keep doing the same dance – if I do good, it’s really a sin).

Maybe I should’ve known this from the start – Yes, I’m too melodramatic and yes I am too negative. I can’t help it though…

What does this mean? That this love that I finally found is gone, it’s slipped through my fingers. *tear* But it was the first time. Fate, please tell me why I couldn’t enjoy this time?

Wait, I am supposed to be learning from this? Is this my chance to be humble?

Cuz, if this is – how the hell am I supposed to learn if I never get a chance? If I “send out” love, then love has to be “sent” to me!! Amen! I’ve fallen too many times – I wanna stay on for the ride (The ticket is still valid)….

I think I hear a knocking, did you come back? Are you going to fix this or end this?

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~ by tashpoeme on December 17, 2008.

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