It’s time…

To look at the crystal ball and hope that it stops showing the same image: objects are not what they seem…

Wait, no. It actually says enjoy the merry-go-round; your life is stuck on renew and repeat….

When will the time come to live this life to the fullest? I don’t understand why my life is a show that makes everyone laugh. It only makes me cry, it’s funny and if I wasn’t so busy crying, I’d be howling in fits of shits and giggles with the rest of you… Why, is it that clarity only comes in addled states? Why don’t these moments come in the clarity and light of sobriety. Could I really be channeling a dark and forsaken path? Am I really going to have to go another round alone?

When do I get to meet my heroes? I’m tired of waiting, if I’m not careful they’ll all be dead and I have to live with creating fiction and melding it with truth – and truth be told, this is getting a bit old (I know that the ol’noggin has a big imagination, but it  needs a break, I’d like to dabble and interfere in the lives; yes lives of ‘alive’ human beings)…

When do I get mine? I know the world’s afraid and a lot of this shite makes little sense, but it’s gold that I’m wiping my ass with & even though the dollar is low, it’ll make someone rich (prefer it to be me – but I’ll be happy with getting the words out).

*sighs* This life has been interesting…so at the end of the year, perched at the top..What can I do to get my life back? “So maybe there’s hope. Or maybe I’m going mad… In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upward mobile — and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: Not necessarily to Win, but mainly to keep from Losing Completely” – Hunter S. Thompson

To understand that character = destiny and to believe in friendship (but damn it’s so rare and so hard to believe in). Errr, I am repeating myself? (I must be because it always seems like it, making the same mistakes again and again – sure the titles are different, but deep down… the episodes are eerily similar *shivers*).

And the pressure to live up to the “image” that one creates…*sigh* becomes a burden, to end it or to keep on breakin through with the few strands of faith that haven’t yet been destroyed.


~ by tashpoeme on December 20, 2008.

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